


Blue Fingers

by Deliriumdoll



Category: Darcy Lewis - Fandom, Loki - Fandom, Tasertricks - Fandom, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), taser tricks - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Gentleman Loki, Kindred Spirits, Loki your hiddleston is showing, Sassy Darcy, Shared Grief, Snow, bonding over the loss of a parent, christmas time in the avengers tower
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-05-17 22:08:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14840063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deliriumdoll/pseuds/Deliriumdoll
Summary: Loki finds Darcy on the Stark tower balcony in the snow. She'd been quiet of late and not so much of a smartass that he had become amusingly accustomed too, he goes to find out why. Set 10 months after Thor 2.





	1. 1

The Avengers had arranged to reassemble at Stark Tower for Christmas, so when Jane begged Thor to spend December with her on Earth, Loki went too, powerless and under his brothers supervision. All together for the entire month of December the team were having a great time. 

Loki watched on as the others went ice skating, shopping or to parties. He was still grieving the loss of Frigga and tried to avoid the strange Midgardian festivities. He found solace in Stark Towers extensive library. Tony had extended an Olive branch to Loki in the action of showing him how to read from an E-reader. Having hundreds of books in one small hand held device was Midgardian magic that Loki could appreciate but nothing compared to pages of a real book to him and he spent almost all of his time in the library or his room, head down, book up.

The group always dined together in the evening. It was here that Loki had no choice but to be around the others. He had not met Jane's assistant Darcy before but quickly found her to be quick witted and ballsy, much to his surprised amusement. 

During the first week Darcy had actually made Loki laugh twice out loud and he had intently listened In when Jane was explaining just how she and Thor first met. When the taser incident was explained Darcy had the smuggest look on her face as she interrupted  
'It was hilarious, he's so big but he just flopped down like a ragdoll!' 

Loki chuckled for the first time in front of the group and Darcy gave him a big toothy grin.

Week two in the tower was spent helping decorating the common area of the residential floor. Loki held a lot of ladders and boxes begrudgingly but it passed the time after finishing a good book. He digested literature slowly and doing nothing special meant his mind was free to analyze and interpret the latest book he devoured. He didn't like to speak to the group much as they still mostly looked at him with suspicious eyes and body language that had yet to relax around him. When the snow started two things happened; the others became childish and spent lots of time outside and Darcy changed.

At the nightly meal she sat where she could stare out of the expansive windows without interruption or discomfort and she didn't chip in with quick insults or innuendo. Loki also noticed Jane was being particularly tender towards her, hot drinks brought to her on the couch here and supportive shoulder touches there. Loki didn't care as such but he was curious to the sudden change in her temperament. 

One particularly cold, dark night, after reading the entirety of The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy over three days he needed fresh air. It was very late and as he walked in to the living area he was surprised to see the sliding door to the balcony slightly ajar. Small snow drifts whirled into the dark room but did not get far before melting. The lights were off apart from small round LED's at ankle level. 

He had only planned to stand in the door way, breathe in the cold that was still so comforting for him for an hour or so, then return to his room and sleep. But when he saw Darcy leaning over on the rail and playing with the snowflakes with her long fingers, Loki was puzzled. The sound of the snow under foot alerted Darcy to the presence of someone else, she raised her head, not expecting to see Loki, out of any of the current occupants of Stark Tower, but she welcomed him as she would have any of the others, with a small 'Sup', then she placed her arms back on the rail and her head on her arms and continued to play with the falling snow. 

'Hello' Loki replied, 'May I join you?'.

Due to his normal silence Darcy stood slowly at his question, wrapping her red chunky knit cardigan around her tightly and turning towards him, her cardi was no where nearly warm enough for the temperatures of a New York winter but she was passed the point of worrying, only caring enough to brush off a few snow flakes that had become frozen to the knitwear. 

'Sure, why not' the nonchalance of her reply was fairly new to Loki, he normally relished her replies as they tended to be enthusiastic and comical.

As she turned back to the rail of the balcony she looked up, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. 

Taking a few steps towards her Loki couldn't help but to admire the soft curves of her throat and the perfection of her porcelain skin, which was currently pimpled by the sheer cold of the night.

'What troubles your evening Miss Lewis?' He asked, leaning his forearms on the cold metal of the balcony railings.

'What makes you think im troubled?' she replied a little softer than normal.

'One does not tend to come outside on a freezing night if celebrating or to -'

'We are in the same boat, you and me' she interrupted him abruptly.

He was perplexed 'Have you been sent to another world under the watch of an older and preferred sibling?' He retorted with a little harshness that he'd not intended to include, to rectify his tone he quickly added, 'nor do I see any sailing vessels'.

'Not quite, wise ass' she draped herself back over the rail and resumed her previous pose.

'How so?' 

'Never mind'

'No, I mind, please continue'

'Umfff' she exhaled and brought herself back to standing straight, but she did not look at him.

'The ache. In the pit of your stomach. Not like a pain or like you've eaten more Mexican food than recommended by your local doc. Sometimes it travels up to your heart and it feels like you need to crack a rib to let out some of the pressure.' She brought her arms around herself.

His brow furrowed, he subconsciously touched his stomach then dropped his hand and looked at her as she continued to speak, she was putting into words something that he was right in the middle of experiencing even though he hadn't realized it.

'It goes away sometimes, hours or even days if your lucky but its there most of the time.'

She spoke softly but did not let her voice break as her eyes misted slightly. He stepped a little closer to her, his breath slightly hitched, his head hearing for the first time the things his heart was feeling. He pursed his lips and watched Darcy attentively, light snow falling all the mean while, leaving tiny glittering snowflakes in their hair, though he only noticed how hers sparkled, she seemed not to notice or care.

'I mean after a while' she switched the foot she was putting her weight on and turned to look at him 'you kind of enjoy it, you know the feeling, you get used to it and instead of it taking over you, you let yourself submerge and get lost, because without that, its like your not doing them justice, like losing them isn't affecting you any more even though you know its always going to be there. It changes you.'

He was shocked by what she was saying. Looking at him with her big eyes, full of understanding and truth, he was speechless. All he could do was nod in agreement and swallow. The cold air making the back of his throat slightly dry. She didn't look sad, she looked strong and determined. 

He instantly admired her for having the strength to say everything he was still coming to terms with. He understood every word of what she was saying.

'Who?' He asked, when she took another deep breath.

'My mom' She said, as she turned slightly to take in his reaction.

'When?' he replied softly.

'Last year' she looked down, then back up at him. 

His features had softened, he rolled his shoulders back and took a step even closer to her, nearly being shoulder to shoulder (though her shoulders were somewhat below his).

He looked at her 'How?'

Keeping eye contact she said flatly  
'You know those freaky things that you brought through the big hole in the sky with you when you tried to take over the world? Well some idiot stole one of their guns, that idiot sold it to some more idiots, they shot it through a building not knowing there were houses behind, it went through four houses, including my mom's.' 

She was searching his face for something as she said all of this. She had an anger in her, he could see it flush in her face, but nowhere near as much as he thought he deserved from her.

Out of all the people he had killed by hand, he had never actually felt anything towards them. Now, over someone he had not met or intended to harm, he was feeling things. Conflicted things that he did not want to admit to.

Over the past weeks he had begun to grow fond of Darcy, and now he wasn't sure if she was blaming for her mothers death or not. Her tone said no but the look she was giving said yes.

'I...i'm sorry' he was sincere, she could hear it in his words but even more in his hesitation, like he was not used to saying the word, as if he wasn't even sure if it was the correct word or that he was saying it right. She softened her gaze, seeing his discomfort. Even though she knew it was his fault, he did not pull the trigger, he did not demolish her childhood home, hell, her mom should have been safe in a different state. 

As conflicted as she was, his pain was still just as fresh as hers and she was not the kind of person who wanted to make anyone else hurt.  
As she had, he looked up and took a slow, deliberate, deep breath of frozen air. It filled his lungs, it chilled his ache, only slightly. 

'I don't think we are on the same boat, you and I' he said adding quickly,  
'I think we are in the same ocean' she was looking at him still, quizzical now, not quite so intensely. Her arms dropped from their crossed position over her chest. 

'Huh, I'll take that' she added.

'Is that why your out here? To try and freeze away those feelings you so eloquently described?'

'Not quite, I've always loved the snow, and i've got the best memories of Mom and me at Christmas, but its bittersweet ya know, it also reminds me of losing her. But mostly trying to catch snowflakes on our fingers. Mom and me have... had the same hands. They always melt on mine but if we stayed out long enough and got cold enough they'd stay for just a second. Just long enough to see them. Sure our fingers went a little blue but it never really bothered us, i quite liked it actually.'

At the mention of blue fingers Loki had to look away. She didn't know about his frost giant heritage. But as she continued he started doing what she was doing, slowly maneuvering his fingers so that flakes fell in between but occasionally landed. His powers may have been bound but he was technically still cold blooded. None of the snowflakes that landed on his hands melted. Before he knew what was happening Darcy grabbed his wrist until his fingers were an inch from her face. Transfixed on the snowflakes landing on him she didn't initially register how cold he was. But he could tell that she was too cold for a mortal.

'Do you think we should go inside, your too cold for your kind' he delicately recommended while he studied the expression on her face.

'Eh, i've been colder' she said absent mindedly, shrugging it off. 

'Really I must insist' he tried to reason.

'Oh calm down dude, just let me look at these things a little longer then we can go in'.

He admired her stubborness. 

'Fine' he, gave a small smile, 'but only a little longer or that talking being will turn all these lights on and melt everything' his reference to JARVIS surprised her but she knew it was true, Tony had the entire building bio-metrically linked to sensors to maintain everyone's well being. 

'Fine, lets go' she wrapped herself up again and walked passed him, her hair flowing with the breeze and his gaze not leaving her. She was a kindred spirit. In pain but not looking for sympathy, just getting on with her life with the added burden of grief hanging over her. 

They walked into the building, Loki closing the door behind them.

Darcy made herself comfortable on the massive sofa and pulled blankets over herself, realizing she was actually really darn cold.

Loki sat with her and they began to talk, about her mom, about his, the commonalities they shared over their feelings. Then they began to open up, she asked him questions about growing up with Thor and Odin in a palace, he asked her about living with a single parent and never having a father figure. 

After the deep stuff they made up a sort of game where they compared things from Asgard and Earth. They laughed about the similarities In celebrating and getting drunk and were surprised at the differences in the things they celebrate.  
They talked until Darcy's head began to lull, Loki had listened intently as Darcy told him some fairy tales and myths of her world, and as he told her Asgardian tales of bravery and monsters (a few he negated to include of course) she succumbed to her tiredness. 

He lowered his voice as she fell asleep until he was sure that she totally relaxed. Lightly draping a fallen blanket over her, Loki's ache was lessened. His heart lighter. His admiration growing. He wasn't sure, as it was not really his area, but he thought to himself that he may have a friend in Darcy Lewis.


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas time isn't all its cracked up to be.  
> Another balcony meeting, different feelings.

After their midnight bonding experience Loki wanted to pay more attention to Darcy as he rather selfishly found he preferred her smartass tones and her smiling face.  
He did however have an unexpected barrier in the form of Dr Foster. 

Every time he wanted to sit on the same sofa to listen to Darcy's chatter, Jane would sit besides her first and Loki felt conscious that it would look odd for him to join them. Leaning on the kitchen bar and observing as the red headed Russian (who Loki still hadn't got passed being duped by in the holding cell all those months ago) helped Darcy pick decorations for the building, Thor approached with a troubled look.

"Brother, we need to have a word about... something" hesitation in Thor was not commonplace and it made Loki uneasy.

"Alright, what is it?" Thor turned on his heel and motioned for Loki to follow. Walking into the corridor away from the others Loki found Jane waiting with Thor. 

"Have I done something wrong" Loki began with a tone of indignity at having been fetched by his brother so that Jane could speak to him.

"Not yet but im here to make sure that you don't" Jane exclaimed  
"Ive seen you looking at Darcy and I don't like it. I appreciate that you saved my life so I am going to be nice about this. Stay away from Darcy. She is hurting, she is wonderful and she doesn't need some trickster demigod messing her about".

Thor looked on awkwardly as Loki listened, responding in a tone to match Jane's.  
"Ive never been anything other than respectful to Miss Lewis and I have nor have I had any intention on, as you put it, messing her around. Believe it or not but we have some common ground and she has been the only one on this tiny planet to have an intellectual conversation with me. I mean her no harm and I am aware of her feelings. Losing my powers has done something to me and my desire to be devious is not half of what it used to be. My house arrest has me at my wits end with boredom and so far Darcy has been the only beacon of relief. I will not mess her about and I will not stay away from her.' 

Loki hadn't realized he had become so passionate in his speech but Jane looked somewhere between shocked and awed and Thor looked on his little brother with what Loki thought might have been pride.

Taking a breath Jane folded her arms over her chest and sighed  
"Ok, I did not expect that, at all."  
Taking a step towards Loki and holding his gaze she continued  
"If you so much as ask her the wrong question I will make sure your time left here on earth is beyond boring, no books, no movies, no chats, no windows. Do you understand me?".  
Looking her square in the eye he replied  
"I understand and I meant every word that I have said."  
Jane stares blankly as Loki turns to leave. Thor tries to hide his smile at his brother, but fails.

Returning to the kitchen area Loki watches as Darcy leans over the edge of a ladder to place some shiny decorations on the bookcase to her left. As she extends herself the ladder looses some of its equal footing and starts twisting, Natasha is there quickly stabilizing it before anything could happen, but Loki surprised himself by finding he had taken several steps in Darcy's direction. Seeing that all was well he retired back to his room.

As Christmas approached Darcy was reveling in the outlandish extravagance of the Avengers tower.  
The distractions from her grief were well appreciated but some times she still wanted to wallow in the feelings that she had spoken about with Loki.  
Never in a million years had she expected him to react the way he had. Jane had told Darcy the Thor and Loki had lost their mother as well so she had ~ some ~ idea of what he could have acted like but she spent more time than she cared to admit thinking about how his face had softened at her words. 

He had really listened to her. 

Jane had been amazing of course but there was a look that crossed Jane's face sometimes that made Darcy feel like Jane just wanted to fix her. That her grief would be something that Jane could find a way to put an end to, but that isn't how it worked and Jane didn't get it. 

When the snow returned so did Darcy's more depressive thoughts. She found herself overly sensitive to the plight and pain of others. Being more empathetic came with the side affects of being pissed off easily at Starks off hand stupid comments, which seemed to be coming in thick and fast these days. Darcy sighed as she stared out the giant window into the snowy oblivion of the New York City skyline. Her coffee now cold and her chest tight with things she wanted to say.

The festivities in the tower seemed never ending, Loki was used to large gatherings and celebrations back on Asgard but the Midgardian holidays had nothing to interest him. He could not deny that the food was fairly substantial though. 

After Janes attempt to dissuade Loki from interacting with Darcy, Loki had felt a strange bubble of annoyance welling up within. He brought his book with him to dinner and sat at the very end of the table, opposite nobody and not taking any part In the conversation happening.

Tony and Darcy were disagreeing about some sort of Midgardian entertainment show, Tony was goading Darcy about the traditional American values of someone called Dr Phil and Darcy was exasperated in arguing her point that the people on the show needed serious mental health experts.

“Dr Phil is an expert, he is a Dr” Tony said offhandedly as he took a drink.

“My dentist is a Dr but that doesnt mean he is the right person for heart surgery or helping someone who clearly needs therapy over some messed up stuff. That man just exploits those poor people with no hope just for his show. It's wrong.” Darcy got up and left, Loki only raising his eyes to see her disappear down the stairs, her hand wiping across her cheek as she went.

“She's too easy” Tony chuckled annoyingly.  
“Dont be a dick Stark” Natasha shot him a glare.  
He just raised his hands in mock defeat and carried on eating.

After the meal was over the rest of the group decided to go out and see something called caroling. 

The weather was still extremely cold and snowy, the city looking clean with a constantly renewed blanket of white snow hiding all the grime that accumulates in city's so highly populated.

Making steady progress through War and Peace Loki decided that 3am would probably he a quite time to go and get some fresh air in his preferred solitude.

As he approached the balcony he saw that one of the control panels on the side had been opened and tampered with, the lights flashing but no alarm sounds.

“Jarvis?” he questioned looking around, a few beeps happened but nothing understandable to him. As he looked outside he saw Darcy once again on the balcony in the snow. But this time she did not look serene and contemplative. 

She looked wrecked. 

A bottle of red wine in her hand, sitting on the frozen ground making a tiny snowman very poorly.

Her hair was dusted with snowflakes that had settled without dispute.

Loki pulled his dressing gown tightly around him as he approached her, it was bitterly cold. 

Even for him.

“Miss Lewis how long have you been out here?” real concern tingeing his words.

“Uuummmb, dunno enymor. Sbeen awhile” her wine laced words just understandable.

“Am I correct in thinking Jarvis has not sent someone to help you because you have tampered with him?” she giggled, bringing out a small tool and waggling it at him.

“I maaaay hav hadalil todo withat.” Suddenly looking angered she threw the tool at the window of the building, it didn't go far, making a small thump as it was hidden in the settled snow.

“May not be a doctor, butim relly good with screwsnboxes. Way clever." she nodded to herself.  
"Real good” 

Her breathing was rough and she looked the most disheveled Loki had ever seen her. 

Her normally delicately painted lips were smudged and her top lip had two little purple horn like shapes where she had been drinking out of the bottle. The placement of the black eyeliner now beneath her eyes clearly indicated that she had been crying. And her clothes had started to gather more snow on them, being so cold it wasn't melting. 

“Why are you out here?” Loki asked, certain he knew the answer.

“Snowflakes” she slurred, tilting her head up and then unceremoniously opening her mouth to catch the snowflakes on her now purple tongue.

“You need to come inside now Darcy” he asked her gently, the people of Midgard could be as violent as any Asgardian when intoxicated and Loki was sure not to underestimate Darcy after hearing the taser incident with his brother. She looked up to him at the use of her first name.

“No, I like it here. Look” she held up her hands to him, her fingertips had gone blue. 

Her hands were shaking and her body was trembling with the extreme cold but she seemed proud of her blue fingers. 

“They are beautiful” he meant it.

“But you know whats inside? More wine” he teased her with his tone. 

Her bleary eyes popped open and she started nodding.

“Yes Mr Loki, more wine! Gimmie” she raised her hands and shook the empty bottle she had at him.

“Thing is I dont know where it is kept, will you show me Darcy?” he offered his hand to her.

She huffed, mumbling  
“havetodoeverythinmyselfroundherestupidaliens” as she tried to stand up, her movements seriously impared. 

Loki caught her under the arm as she started to slip, but soon had her arm around his neck as he brought her carefully back into the building. 

Her entire frame was shaking, the snow on her clothes crunchy and her breathe slow and shallow.

“Mnot feeling so good” she said as Loki set her on the sofa.

“I can see that, just take some slow breaths” he kept his hand on her shoulder.

Looking around for anything of assistance he saw one of the hand held talking devices the others all used on the counter, he touched it and the screen came to life, seeing a picture of Dr Foster he pressed it and It started making noises.

“Hello, Jane? Hello?” Loki talked at the device. He heard a groggy voice and then his brothers deep tones  
“Loki, what are you doing?”

“Thor its Darcy, she's not in a good way, do they have any medical aids here? We are in the kitchen”.

Darcy was swaying on the sofa and her normal pale shade was tinged with an unhealthy tone of blue. 

Quickly Loki brought more blankets around Darcy's shoulders as Jane and Thor appeared, Tony not far behind as he went straight to the tampered control panel and began tinkering.

“Oh God Darcy” Jane jogged over as she saw her apprentice. Darcy's eyes were loosing focus and closing slowly. 

As Jane began to question her Loki looked to Thor, he wanted to help, but he had no clue where to start. 

Thor knew the look on his brothers face, he had only seen it a few times in his life but it made his big brother instincts kick in.

“Jane what do we need to do to help?” Thor said gently, watching as Jane tried to rouse Darcy.

“I think we need to get her to the hospital” her eyes flickered to Loki in anger

“What happened?” her tone scared and enraged in equal measure.

Just before Loki could defend himself the calm tones of Jarvis interrupted, Tony replacing the panel on the wall.

“Miss Lewis breached the door to the balcony at 1.04am with a bottle of Mr Starks most expensive Merlot, the third bottle of which she had taken this evening, she preceded to sit and drink the merlot until Mr Odinson arrived at 3.07am. His initial assessment of Miss Lewis led him to bring her back into the building within 3 minutes and then to raise the alarm due to concerns over her health. She Is displaying signs of hypothermia and border line with alcohol poisoning. Emergency services are already on the way, she should be fine to stay In our medical facility on the 17th floor.”

“Oh” was all Jane could say as the EMT's arrived ushered in by Happy. 

Thor noted the desperate look on Loki's face as Darcy was wheeled away to be taken care of. It almost matched Jane's. He'd never say it out loud but Loki looked more pained out of the two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all really lovely comments about the first chapter! They were some of the most thoughtful responses ive had the pleasure to receive!
> 
> I hope this chapter is just as good!
> 
> This is going to be a slow one but please stick with me, ive got some good plans!
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy wakes up after her binge drinking session and Loki finds himself a most needed distraction for her.

Waking up in the medical center of Stark Tower was not something Darcy felt proud of. 

The only thing she felt right now was god awful. Sick, dizzy, compressed, foolish and exhausted.

She had only drunk herself into a stupor once before, after her mothers funeral. That had been done with less booze and lower quality booze, so she knew that her current pain and discomfort was at least good quality suffering.

Her head was spinning and she felt so nauseated even the movement of her breathing made her feel rougher.

After some time she braved opening her eyes, and regretted it instantly.

Jane practically pounced on her with over bearing concern and then anger at Darcy's reckless actions.

“What on Earth were you thinking? You could have died! You nearly got frostbite on your hands! Do you have any idea how much those bottles of wine cost?”.

The barrage of of questions coupled with the high volume of Jane's voice made Darcy roll over fast, hiding tears of embarrassment and also to vomit powerfully into a waiting basin.

Rolling slowly on to her back with a huff, Darcy looked at Jane's worried face.

“How can I help you?” Jane asked tenderly, but Darcy found the sincere concern unappealing.

“Leave me alone for a while. Please. I need to suffer through this in my own way. You cant fix me Jane. And i'm sure Stark can buy more booze, but its nice to see what you are worried about, Starks wine collection is so vital to you I see.”  
Darcy croaked out, every word hurting a different part of her, the last part hitting Darcy more than Jane. 

Jane's hurt expression blurred in Darcy's eyes as more tears emerged.

Huffing in exasperation, Jane left.

Darcy felt fragile, in every sense of the word. 

 

Loki watched as Jane left the medical floor. He wasn't hiding from her _exactly_ but he didn't want her to see that he was going to check on Darcy's condition, not wanting to be seen didn't have to be hiding.

He too had done the over drinking when in pain and he had real concern over the state the Darcy had been in. Her Midgardian disposition being that much weaker than his or Thor's otherworldly biology. 

He didn't see her as weak though. 

To be in that much pain to begin with requires a huge store of strength just to get by day to day with any semblance normality. 

Loki had been, (relatively) lucky, his power of illusion hid his suffering over his mothers loss from Thor and the other prisoners for as long as he could hold it.

Once he could no longer see Jane's shadow in the corridor Loki quietly walked towards the bright medical area. 

He heard fast beeping and then the soft delicate sobs of Darcy.

As he turned the corner of the doorway he felt a surprising rush of compassion for the normally feisty and vibrant Darcy. 

She looked so small, so pale and to be in so much pain. 

For a second he couldn't move.

 

Bringing her hand up to hide her face she wept until her breath was uneven and she was dizzy, some of her vitals beeping faster on the monitors she was hooked into. 

When she opened her eyes, the start of a panic attack growing in her chest, she was shocked to see Loki hovering in the door way.

“Im sorry, I can go...” his blue eyes were wide, lips turned down and hands up signalling his retreat.

“Dont....” Darcy managed to squeak out. Her hands clenching and un-clenching as she tried to regain some control of her functions. 

Holding one hand out towards Loki she hoped he understood what she needed. 

In three fast strides he was sitting by her side, holding her hand. 

“What can I do?” he asked earnestly.

“Distract....me” still breathing unevenly Darcy replied, holding tight to Loki's hand, the warmth of his hand starting to pull her focus. 

“Uhm, ok, so, if I had my powers i'd bring three versions of myself here and have each of them do something different like...” Loki was looking around for inspiration,  
“Well one would be trying on the medical outfit that's on the back of the door, maybe putting it on backwards? And another would be playing with that long tap thing, probably spraying water everywhere, and uhm...” as Loki spoke about more odd and funny situations Darcy watched his collar bone beneath his woollen jumper. 

As he breathed in, so did she. As he exhaled with another scenario she followed with her own breath. 

Steadily the monitors showing Darcy's vital signs ran at a more regular rhythm. 

Loki was making her chuckle softly at other mischievous and absurd ideas he would have delighted her with had he still had his powers.

 

He still held her hand in his.

 

As she began to feel more settled Darcy lightened her grip on Loki's hand, but she didn't remove hers from their hold.

Loki looked at the monitors as they quietened down with Darcy's normal vitals.

“Thanks, for that. And for last night. I must have been such a wreck, i'm sorry you had to see that.” she began apologizing. He shook his head, not requiring an apology.

“Were they being loud because you were in distress?” He asked innocently, not really understanding most of the technology in the room with them.

She nodded slowly, regretting it as her head was still a bit dizzy.

“They were beeping along with my heart beat and stuff. Oxygen saturation in my blood, blood pressure, all that stuff.” her face showing how truly tired she was.

“I had no idea you were in such dire distress, did you need me to get you a doctor or Jane or...”

“No dude, you were exactly what I needed.” her casual tone not projecting the appreciation she was feeling as she closed her eyes momentarily and took a steady long breath.

Huh. 

In all his life Loki could never remember being told he was needed. 

Staring at Darcy's hand in his, Loki placed his other hand over hers, enjoying the feeling of her hand, and of the new emotion awakening within him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> The comments i've received for this story have been some of the most thought provoking and kind, thank you so very much!  
> I hope you like this short chapter, im still finding my footing for the direction of this story but i will try to make it the best i can!
> 
> Thanks again x


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki evaluates his new feelings and Darcy feels a little better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry to anyone who caught the not done version of this last night, my phone and the drafts option decided to give me a scare.  
> All good now though.
> 
> Consider this the writers preferred text.

After some simple chatting Darcy's head began to settle back into the large pillow behind her. 

Loki couldn't help but to admire the symmetry of her bone structure as sleep relaxed Darcy's features. The strength of her chin contrasted beautifully with the soft roundness of her cheek bones. Her eyes were startlingly big but in the most alluring manner even as they were closed. 

Wanting to leave her to rest Loki gently removed his hand from Darcy's sleepy grip. 

As his skin brushed against hers she stirred, holding tightly to his fingers,  
"Hmm you don't have to go...." Her sleep addled words were soft and sweet while her face stayed the picture of a sleeping masterpiece.

"You rest. I'll come back later though. If you would like." Loki couldn't help the small grin that materialised on his face. 

"Hm'okay" she squeezed his fingers and then let them go. 

He silently walked backwards to the doorway, not wanting to loose sight as Darcy snuggled into the many blankets around her.

 

Standing alone in the elevator heading back to the common area Loki thought deeply about the feelings that he found himself processing around Darcy.

He was not immune to romantic attachments.  
There was no denying that he had a proclivity to brunettes with pale skin.  
Even Lady Sif had caught his eye back on Asgard. And then she had punched that eye as his rather amarous ideas on how they could have spent an afternoon were seen to be, to her, improper.

But as he thought about Darcy shivering in the snow he felt more than just carnal instincts. There were parts of him that wanted to have been there when she was getting drunk, imagining the fun they would have had together.  
Another part of him wanted to still be in the medical area with her, gently soothing her nearly frozen fingers with his own. 

Walking towards his room Loki couldn't help but overhear Thor's deep voice as he seemed to be comforting Jane in another room.

"She's going to be fine Jane, like she said just leave her to work her things out, I'm sure she will want your company soon" his tone gentle but, as Loki knew well, Thor lacked a certain finesse when it came to expressing emotions. They were simple to him.

Jane sounded upset as she replied.  
"But she said she wanted to suffer on her own. No one wants that. How am I meant to know when she will want to talk? She didn't even want me in the room with her. I know Jarvis will tell me if she needs more medical attention but what about if she just wants attention? She isn't used to being completely alone and I don't want her to be completely alone." She ended with a loud sniffle. 

To his credit Thor quipped quickly,  
"But she isn't alone, she has you, and us. Everybody here likes Darcy. We won't let her feel alone Jane."  
Loki felt a small bubble of admiration for his older brother, he may have simple views on emotional matters but that didn't mean he didn't understand them.

Silently Loki retired into his room, closing his door slowly to keep his movements unheard.  
Reclining on his bed Loki ran through what he had just heard in his mind.

Darcy had told Jane she wanted to suffer alone.  
But then she had reached out to him literally in panicked desperation.

Darcy had rejected Jane's company. Jane, her mentor, her friend.  
But she had, even though half asleep, indicated that she wanted him to stay with her.

 

Jarvis would tell Jane when Darcy needed help, he pondered what Jarvis would be able to tell him.

Loki didn't consider his current state as one of confusion, but he played with the idea that he was missing some piece of information that would have made this situation clear to his mind. Until he had that missing piece Loki decided to put a concerted effort into making sure any suffering Darcy went through was never done alone. Jane was right, no one wanted that. 

 

Waking up to a dim room Darcy felt cosy and only half hungover. The fluid IV in her arm being a miracle worker to her dehydrated brain. Shuffling into a sitting position she groaned loudly as she stretched both arms up and then leaned gently side to side. A few of her vertabrae popping with the stretch.  
At some point she had been disrobed and clothed in a paper like hospital gown. Frowning at the incredibly unflattering garment Darcy looked under the sheets, relieved to see her underwear still on and socks still cosy on her toes.

Looking around at the technology and medical equipment in the room with her Darcy was not at all surprised that everything was so high spec. Stark was a show off and, well, he showed it off.

"Yo Jarvis, you there?" She called out looking at the ceiling.

"Yes Miss Lewis, how can I help you?" The calm tones of Jarvis came from somewhere above.

"Do I have to stay here? What's the dealio with my clothes and can I order some pizza?" As she was feeling much more human Darcy knew a mega cheesy margarita would get her through anything. 

"You will be under observation for another eight hours Miss Lewis so you are to remain in the medical facility. Dr Foster and the paramedics disrobed you but your clothing is in the third cupboard on your left. There are also spare outfits in there for you. Would you like me to order the usual from Gio's?" Jarvis was succinct.

"8 hours awh man." Darcy huffed, she was already bored.   
"The usual please Jarvis make it large. Is there any entertainment in this ward? A TV, radio, colouring in book?" She didn't see any screens other than the ones displaying her vital signs.   
As Jarvis changed one screen to play the Food Network (the only TV Darcy liked) she stretched out her hands, noticing the small dressings on a couple of her fingers. She must have closer to frostbite than she could have thought.   
She also remembered the way Loki's slender hand had felt in hers. 

"Hey Jarvis my man, what's Loki up to?".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for all the kind words for this story so far! I'm really enjoying getting back into it!
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	5. 5.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simultaneous boredom and Jarvis bothering.

Having spent the last twenty-five minutes talking with Jarvis, Loki had surmised that he was not on any kind of clearance list to get any information out of the well spoken thing.  
Except the time. 

Only when he asked nicely.

Huffing, he sat down with a new book and tried to digest the story, but his mind was still on Darcy.

How long would she need to rest?

How long would it take her Midgardian biology to heal?  
Did this planet have sufficient healing medicines?

He had left her quite a few hours ago, the day had turned in to evening, he was restless. 

Snapping his book shut Loki looked around his room. Neat grey book cases half full of selected editions from Starks main library lined the walls. The long window ran the entire length of the wall on one side and had the view of the city, though it was currently obscured by clouds. His large bed and arm chair were covered in blankets and cushions that surprised Loki, they were an oddly decadent addition to the Midgardian fashioning of the room.  
He longed for some art work to gaze at. He shook his head as Darcy's sleeping face flashed into his mind  
Scanning some of the bigger books that he had not yet read, Loki stretched up to a high shelf, taking one out labelled Michelangelo.

"Sorry to disturb you Mr Odinson" Jarvis's voice made Loki jump, eye brows shooting up as he scanned the ceiling uselessly.

"Yes..." This was the first time Jarvis had spoken to him first, the etiquette for speaking with an unseen being was still new for Loki.

"Mr Odinson, Miss Lewis would like you to join her in the medical facility".

"Is she ok?" Loki immediately threw the hefty book down and moved towards the door.

"She is making a good recovery, she would like you to join her for dinner" Jarvis finished just as Loki opened his door.

"Oh" Loki faltered. The surprising panic he had been feeling ebbed away. Now there was a warmth in his cheeks and a smile growing softly on his face.

Jarvis continued  
"Also Mr Odinson, she is requesting that you bring along something to entertain her with."

Twirling around his room looking at all the items in the room with him, Loki was suddenly completely lost as to what he could entertain Darcy with.  
"How long have I got before she is expecting me?" Panic returning to his tone.

"The food will be arriving in approximately 20 minutes. May I make a suggestion?" Jarvis spoke softly.

"Please do" The urgency in Loki's voice was odd to his own ears. He felt a strong need to impress Darcy, to make her happy, to begin making amends for something that could never be fully forgiven. 

Jarvis went on to explain about the board games also located in the library, and just like that Loki went in search of something fun.

 

 

 

After rooting around every cupboard in the medical bay Darcy was bored.  
She had got changed into a super comfy pair of joggers and really fancy grey cashmere jumper that she was absolutely going to keep. Just as she was figuring out how to get her jumper on with the IV attached Natasha popped her head around the door to come and visit.  
"Here, let me help you with that" the red head said as she held onto the drip bag and some of the cords as Darcy wiggled into the jumper. There were words that could describe the scenario, graceful, elegant and modest where not those words. Natasha and Darcy had made fast friends and Darcy was thankful for her help. After some small talk Tony also appeared at the door.  
Noting Darcy's embarrassed expression at his entrance Nat said she'd be around if Darcy wanted her, eyeing Tony with a warning look as she walked out the room.

Darcy started talking before she could change her mind.

"I'm sorry Mr Stark, I know I shouldn't have drunk your crazy expensive wine! I spiraled, it's a hard time of year for me and I really am sorry" Darcy spoke with real sincerity. Stark's face was softer than she expected.

"I need to apologize too." He began, pulling up a chair next to the bed where she was perched.  
"Pepper told me about what happened to your mom. I wouldn't have been so relentless in my teasing if I knew you that you were going through the first Christmas after that. I still find Christmas the hardest part without my parents as well. I'm sorry I kept pushing your buttons. And don't worry about the wine. I own the vineyard." 

Of course he owned the bloody vineyard.

They looked at each other briefly with a comfortable understanding. Not knowing what to say Darcy held her hand out and Tony shook it.

"Thank you" she said softly.

"And thank you." He stood up as he released her hand.  
"Oh and if things with Dr Foster don't work out, you have my number. The way you got past Jarvis's security hardware - while completely shitfaced at that - was genuinely terrifying for me. I'm going to be updating all the service panels because of you. And if you want a job on my tech security team or something closer to what you're doing with Dr Foster i'd be happy to have you in my team. Sober preferably."  
He gave a small smile and wave as he left.

Well, Darcy thought, that was unexpected.

Once again she was alone. 

Her stomach was sore but still rumbled in protest of its emptiness. Bringing up all the wine she had been drinking left Darcy achey and feeling a little weak so she snuggled back into the bed and listened to Guy Fiery on the TV. As he spoke about hoagies and burgers Darcy became hungrier and hungrier.

"Yo J man, do you have an ETA on the pie?" She called out.

Jarvis responded in his normal manner "According to the delivery tracker your Pizza is five blocks away and stuck in traffic on Madison Avenue. The estimated time of arrival is another 15 minutes. But Gio has added an extra set of deep fried mozzarella sticks for you as he was aware of the possible delay."

"Oh yes, more cheese to add to my cheese" Darcy rejoiced, wiggling her toes under the blankets.

Her joy was short lived when she realized she was still on her own.

Pulling her arms around her chest Darcy couldn't help but feel a sudden weary sort of loneliness. 

She had only seen and spoken with two people since she had woken up. 

Sure she had spoken to Jarvis on and off but the well spoken system could hardly count as human contact.

Jarvis had said he would ask Loki to join Darcy for pizza, but that wouldn't be arriving for a little longer and Darcy assumed (and hoped) Loki would arrive at the same time.

She had thought about asking Jane and Thor, but she really wasn't ready for the inevitable soft doe eyes of Jane either apologizing or seeking the apology that Darcy hadn't come to muster up yet. Thor would eat way more than his share of the pizza, and Darcy's stomach growled at the thought.

Leaning back and letting out a tight sigh Darcy thought more on how she had become something close to friends with Loki.

The first time they had spoken in the Avengers tower Darcy was not sure on what to make of him. Jane had told her that it was him that brought in the weapon that killed her mother, that he was power mad, delusional and a monster. Darcy had found him haughty, stand offish and obnoxiously attractive but as he spoke (rarely but she still remembered it happening before their chat on the balcony). She also found him intriguing, clearly very intelligent and she enjoyed the sound of his laugh when she had regaled the group with the story of her and Jane's first meeting with Thor. 

Since the late night they had spent talking in the snow and then on the sofa she could see even more to him. Darcy could see the open wound of his mothers loss still haunting him. She felt the simmer of resentment he held as Thor's younger brother, her best friends at home had been the same, both younger siblings to high achieving older brothers. That shadow was not one easily shaken. The look on his face as he sat engrossed in one of the books reminded her of Jane when she was making some sort of discovery, total focus and brain ticking over fast. It was a good look on him. 

The few smiles she had seen him have were when she found him the most attractive. Happy wrinkles appeared, his eyes softened and his tongue had a habit of sticking out just a little bit. Darcy found it inexorably charming.

Her memory of the latest balcony meeting was hazy. Grabbing the wine bottles she remembered. Drinking the first one in the bath, yep that memory was A Ok. The second bottle she managed to swirl in a large glass as she danced around her room to a glam rock mix that Jarvis had extrapolated from her ipod. 

It was a really good mix.

From then it got a little shaky.

Memories of tinkering with the wall panel in the deserted rec room she just about remembered. Swigging from the bottle in the snow, yep, not proud of it but she could recall it happening. Crying hard till her chest was chilled inside, the snow around her bringing too many good memories back for her, yes, that she could see in her minds eye clearer than she liked.

Loki's appearance on the balcony however she didn't remember straight away, but she had a clear image of his face as she held up her blue fingers. The way he had called them beautiful, his blue eyes wide with adoration, features soft, it still gave her shivers even as she was draped in a warm woollen jumper her skin prickled at the thought.

Darcy's eyes were pulled out of her daze as she caught a very strange sight slowly walking towards her door. 

Loki. Steadily walking whilst carrying at least 5 boxes of board games in his arms.

His head peered around the side of the door, only a small part of his face visible above the boxes, "Hi, how are you feeling?" his muffled voice asked as he gently placed the boxes on a side table.

Then he pulled out a deck of cards from his back pocket and placed them on the top of the pile.

She replied as she straightened up, answering honestly with a real smile on her face, "Best i've felt all day, well till the food gets here."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking around dear readers.  
> The weather has been stupidly hot here and it is the least inspiring thing for me when i want to write about winter!
> 
> I really love this story so i wont be ending it anytime soon, and i'll do my best to get the updates at closer intervals.
> 
> Life does get in the way!
> 
> Anyway, thanks again for reading, the comments i get on this story are normally my favourites! (dont tell my other readers xp) and i hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Thank you.


	6. 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wanna play a game or two?

Darcy's eyes were wide with surprise at the range of games that Loki had wrangled in with him. When she had joked to Jarvis that Loki should bring something to entertain her with she expected maybe a book or a DVD.

Cluedo, Battleships, Jenga, Monopoly and Frustration as well as a deck of cards.

"Dude, these are like legit the best board games around!" her enthusiasm was met by a smile from Loki that dazzled her momentarily. 

"Are you sure? Jarvis only told me so much about them so i hoped i picked out ones you would deem fun. And i am going to need your assistance, i am not fluent in Midgardian games. I mean this one looks rudimentary" he picked up Jenga and scanned the box  
"But im sure there is some kind of twist to it". He looked on at the pile of boxes and then back to Darcy's face.

Darcy was looking on at Loki with a bright smile, he felt a small shiver of self consciousness run through him under her warm gaze.

"What shall we play first?" Loki asked, suddenly feeling the need to hide his flushed cheeks from Darcy's sparkling eyes.

"Lets start with Jenga, yes its rudimentary but i think your going to like it, plus the blocks make a really fun noise!". She pulled over a table on wheels that sat above her bed and motioned for Loki to sit at the other end, his head still trying to understand how the blocks made a noise.

He settled at the end of bed, opposite the now excitable and perky Darcy. Loki felt somewhat bewitched by the energy now effervescing from her. 

After showing him the instruction leaflet Darcy built the tower of blocks and explained why they were built in different ways each level. Then she demonstrated the methods of block removal. 

"Ok, im pretty sure i understand. The aim is take out the supporting blocks so that your opponent destroys the tower?" Loki looked at Darcy for confirmation.

"Yup, thats it. You ready?" there was a rosiness to her cheeks and a glint in Darcy's eye that made Loki's breath catch. How could a young Midgardian have such an effect on him?

The first few moves were simple and they made small talk over the game.

As Darcy tried to take out a side block one of the dressings on her injured finger caught another block and it took two out, the tower now leaning precariously to the left.

"That was a total accident! Ive never taken two out before, erm, you wanna take two out for your turn? Keep it even?" Darcy seemed genuinely honest about what had happened, she didn't appear to be taking the game all too seriously. Loki decided to have a little more fun of his own.

"I disagree. I think you did do it on purpose and you are cheating to make sure i wont win. Which was clearly going to happen. You sabotaged my turn" keeping his tone light but still stern enough that Darcy's eyebrows rose in frustration, as Loki had desired.

"Oh shut it better looking Tommy Wiseau, clearly my stupid plaster just got caught. Take two out and we are even stevens!" the scowl on Darcy's face only spurred Loki on. Despite not understanding her assumedly insulting references he continued.

"No". He folded his arms over his chest and kept a plain face.

"No? You cant just say no! What does saying no do to help you win the game huh?" Darcy slapped her palm on the table in irritation and the blocks scattered down instantly, falling over the table, the bed and the back of Darcy's hand.

The grin on Loki's face was the epitome of smugness, until he saw her flinch and pull her hand away from the table. 

"Oh you bastard, you played me!" she laughed as she absent mindedly rubbed her hand where a few blocks had landed. 

"Are you..." just as Loki was going to inquire about her hand Happy barged in the room, a large pizza box in one hand and a small paper bag in the other.

"Dinner is served" Happy placed the box and bag on top of the fallen blocks unceremoniously and left without further ado.

"Saved by the pizza!" Darcy moved the small bag under the table and flipped the lid off the large box, uncovering the huge cheese covered pizza.

Loki watched her as she pulled off a large triangle, rolled the pointy end up to the crust and then took a huge bite, her eyes rolling back in her head and a gluttenous groan escaped her mouth as she chewed. Loki was transfixed with the look on her face, the sound she made burned into his memory in an instant. 

Mouth still full Darcy peered at Loki, he was staring at her with a smirk of amusement.

Shit, she thought, she must have cheese or sauce on her face.

Grabbing a napkin she wiped her chin, but Loki's smile only grew.

"Dude, grab something to eat! Its a nice break from all the fancy crap we have been having recently. And stop staring at me like that, its almost putting me off my pie" she said glaring at Loki.  
He leaned over and took a piece out of the box, the cheese pulling tendrils away with it as he moved it away. Darcy took another large bite out of her piece and Loki copied her actions.

He could not deny that the tangy tomato base was a pleasant and satisfying contrast with the mild but flavorsome cheese. Simple and satisfying. 

They ate in a comfortable silence, when Darcy suddenly leaned down and grabbed the small bag and pulling out a smaller box from within. Opening it to reveal a handful of deep fried mozzarella sticks Darcy's eyes once again lit up. She poured them out into the spaces made from the missing pizza slices. 

"What are those?" Loki asked, taking the last bite out of his crust and wiping his crumbed fingers together with a napkin.

"These orange sticks of glory are a type of heaven only the purest of hearts can eat. Mainly cos they'll clog your arteries after a dozen but man are they good!"

Darcy laughed at Loki's raised eyebrows. Surely there wasn't a food that only the pure of heart could eat, he thought, suddenly worried he would not be able try the tasty looking things.

"They are deep fried cheese you weirdo, look" she took a bite, the cheese within the crunchy coating pulling a long thread from her mouth to the remaining piece in her hand. Darcy had to crane her neck up, giggling, as the cheese continued to be a stringy nuisance. 

Loki laughed along with Darcy as she tried to control the cheesy mess she was creating. As his focus shifted slightly Loki once again admired the slender shape of her neck, Darcy's chin pointing up and the smooth curves of her throat unrelenting in their perfection. 

After much effort Darcy managed to wind the stringy cheese around the piece in her hand. Wrapping the cheesy stick in the her pizza crust she looked incredibly proud of herself as she chowed down on it. 

"May i try one?" Loki asked with a chuckle still in his voice. 

With her mouth still full Darcy nodded and pushed the pizza box closer to Loki. His long arm reached easily and as he brought the cheese stick to his lips, Darcy shook her head lightly. Somehow the clean and spicy scent of what ever aftershave he was wearing made its way across the smell of the pizza and sneaked into Darcy's awareness. 

God, he smelled good. 

Trying not to focus on the inviting scent Darcy pulled off another piece of pizza. This time she just bit into the tip and closed her eyes as she savored taste. Slightly greasy, a well baked base and just the right amount of cheese was exactly what Darcy needed to feel human again.

She let out a deep sigh and as she opened her eyes she saw as Loki's gaze quickly avoided hers. He had a habit of looking at her when he thought she didn't notice. But she did. Ever since puberty had hit her and she filled out thick and fast she could always sense when someone was looking at her, normally it was guys. It made her uncomfortable most of the time, but she felt that Loki was not leering. There was almost an innocent wonderment with his expression and she liked it. She never felt threatened around him despite his history. He had proven to her that he could be kind and caring. Towards her at least.

"What do you want to play after this? More Jenga? Or i can introduce you to the cut throat world of Monopoly, though its a bit of an intense starter game. Cludeo is great but kinda tough with just two of us" after asking she chewed more pizza as her eyes raked over the boxes. 

Loki didn't know why, but the way Darcy said 'Us' made him want to hear it again.

"The dark blue box looks interesting" Loki quipped, liking the look of the watery artwork.

"Oh, Battleships, thats a great one. Easy set up, simple rules, im sure you will enjoy trying to defeat my army of ships. Is that a little to close to the bone?" Darcy said eyes wide as she cocked her head to the side, suddenly aware of the newly appointed elephant in the room. 

Loki suddenly felt incredibly awkward, his face falling at her words.  
Darcy's face was stoic.

After a heartbeat she broke out into a massive grin and threw her hand over her mouth, stopping her laughter from erupting loudly.

Before he knew it Loki was biting his tongue as he laughed with her.

Loki's mind raced. Why was she laughing? He had killed thousands of people when he tried to take over Earth with his borrowed army, his casualties even including her own mother, though not completely directly. But the rosy tint in her cheeks as she giggled was too delightful to interrupt.

All Darcy could think was of course Loki would pick a game where you win by blowing your opponent to smithereens. It was such a basic man game, and despite his currently powerless state he was still technically a god of sorts. Even gods wanted to play battleships apparently.

"I think its best we leave that conversation there... but would you like to play a game of Battleships with me?" Darcy's chuckled out, wiping a tear from her eye. 

After agreeing to the game Darcy and Loki finished off the pizza and cheese sticks then cleared away the fallen Jenga blocks. Letting Darcy stay comfortably seated Loki got up and brought the new game over. 

"You will need to scoot your butt a little closer for this one my dude" Darcy motioned for him to come closer as she spoke. 

The term 'my dude' made Loki grin.

Once the game board was set up infront of them Darcy gave Loki a basic run though.

"So, you put your little ships wherever you want them, i do the same, and then we take turns in to guessing the row and column each others are in. You can use the the white pokeys" she held up one of the small while pokers between her bandaged thumb and forefinger,  
"Use them to mark out places there is not a hit, and use the red ones to mark where there is so you can guess where the next ships are. If a ship is hit you have to say hit, no fibbing dude. Last person with a ship still sailing wins. You get it?" Darcy wiggled her eyebrows as she ended her instructions.

Loki had listened intently as she spoke, she liked the way he squinted his eyes up just a little when he was really focusing on her words. Even though she was just explaining a game he looked on as if she was giving him incredibly important information.

"Yes, that all makes sense. And thank you. I can imagine its quite tedious to have to explain something so unimportant" Loki's eyes looked on Darcy with a new kindness she hadn't seen before.

"This isnt unimportant" she said softly as she shook her head a little,  
"Its important, because if we play a fair game" she lowered her voice to a whisper and leaned in slightly, Loki leaned in close, sure not to miss a word, he had chills when he felt her breath on his cheek,  
"then its all the sweeter when i win" the grin on her face was magnificent and it took Loki a second before he realized she was eyeing up his ships on the board underneath them.

"I'll play fair if you do Miss Lewis" he purred back at her.

As Loki chuckled and rearranged his little boats Darcy took a second to re calibrate her head. She wasn't sure how we would respond to her attempted distraction technique, but she sure as hell was not ready for him to sound so god damn sexy as he had spoken to her.

"C5"

"Miss"

"F1"

"Miss"

"B6"

"Hit" 

The game played out well, both Darcy and Loki staying honest with hits and misses.  
Loki was shocked at how quickly Darcy sank two of his boats but he put it down to her better understanding of the game.  
Not once noticing that there was very reflective screen behind him just the right angle for Darcy to see over his left shoulder.

Just as Loki was triumphant at striking Darcy's last ship there was a knock at the door.

A young man in a medical fleece and scrubs entered the room, Loki scowled at the intrusion.

"Miss Lewis, im Dr Connor, im here to remove your IV and let you go. All your vitals are looking fine and you are free to go back out of the facility, your observation time is over."

Darcy baulked at the thought of having the needle removed from her arm.  
She did not like needles. Having been unconscious (or at least drunk enough not to remember) when it was put in she had no chance to protest. Now, however, was a different time.  
Loki noted how she suddenly looked on edge, the appearance of the new person making Darcy clearly uncomfortable.

"Uhm, yeah, im not really ok with this, i do not want this thing being yanked out my arm by you and i cant promise i wont just run away from you or punch you Mr doctor man" Darcy said as she started to untuck her legs from the blankets on the bed.

The doctor looked a little bemused at Darcy's comments, but straightened up when he saw the glare coming off of Loki.

"Jarvis, is this guy even a real medic?" Darcy called out as she carefully hopped off the bed, backing away from the medic and taking the IV stand with her. Loki stood when she did and stayed at the end of the bed, between Darcy and the medic.

Jarvis spoke in his usual causal manner,  
"Yes Miss Lewis, Dr Connor is on Mr Stark's personal team of medics and has high qualifications in many areas of medicine. Mr Stark even choose him purposefully for your care as he thought you may find Dr Connor aesthetically pleasi..." Darcy waved her hand frantically.

"SSSHHHHH Thats enough from you Jarvis, god. Im still not ok with this" Darcy was really starting to feel panicky.

In another hospital room at another time sure, she would have let Dr Mc-not-steamy-but-mc-cheery give her a physical. But now he seemed too tanned, too blonde and chestnut eyed for her. Her eyes were scanning the room for any option of escape. There was none. Only Loki was standing between her and the medic.

As the doctor put on some rubber gloves and picked up a tray with bandages, plasters and antiseptic wipes, he moved to pass Loki. Loki side stepped right in front of him.  
Rolling his shoulders back and pulling himself up to his full height Loki spoke clearly with more than just a hint of aggression,  
"Miss Lewis has said she does not want you to touch her" keeping his eyes locked with the medic, they both knew Loki had the conviction and strength to keep the doctor away from Darcy.

"I have to remove the IV needle, it could become infected if it isn't done the right way. I promise it wont hurt and you wont even know its happening" Dr Connor looked around Loki to speak to Darcy.

Loki turned around to see Darcy suddenly looking even younger than her years. Regardless of the curves her maturity had blessed her with, all he could see now was a scared child cornered and in a state near panic.

Her hands were starting to shake as she grasped the IV stand for support, so Loki slowly approached. As the doctor followed, he held a hand out and warned him  
"Wait".

"Darcy, would you like me to get Dr Foster to come and do this for you?" Loki lowered his shoulders and kept his tone soft. It was the first thing he could think of to soothe her worry. Jane was a doctor, surely that would make Darcy feel better.

Sounding smaller than he had ever heard her she replied with a sigh,  
"She isnt that sort of doctor".

Why little needles had such a big effect of Darcy she had no idea. They had never got on. She never had any interest in tattoos so that wasn't an issue. She tried to donate blood once but passed out before they even tested her iron levels. Feeling very childish in front of Loki made her feel even worse. He had seen her in too many vulnerable situations recently, she thought to herself.

Time to woman the fuck up. 

Looking in the clear blue of Loki's eyes, she took a deep breath, roller her shoulders back and gave him a small smile.

"Stay with me?" she questioned hesitantly.

Without missing a beat he spoke  
"Absolutley, of course" he was shocked at her request. Again, she wanted him to stay with her. 

"Okay doctor dude, heres whats going to happen. You are going to do your bit as fast and as pain free as possible. My man here Loki, yes, that Loki, is going to make sure i dont sock you one on reflex. Nothing personal, it just happens sometimes. What he does if i'm in pain i cannot control, you dig?" her tone was confident but Loki could still see the fear in her eyes.

Dr Connor gulped, his adam's apple bobbing violently as he finally understood why the menacing man seemed so familiar. Darcy's little speech did little to help his confidence.

"I promise to be as fast and pain free as i can be" he didnt move until Darcy walked over and took a seat on the bed. Loki came and stood on her side.

As she offered her arm to the doctor she turned away from him and rested her head on Loki's shoulder, inhaling his delicious scent. Automatically his hand went to her lower back for support.

Feeling the doctor touch her arm made Darcy tense up instantly. She didn't know what he was doing, it felt uncomfortable but not painful at least. Dr Connor's hand slipped for just a second and Darcy gasped at the odd change of pressure in the nook of her elbow. Her free hand instinctively grabbed and squeezed Loki's, he squeezed right back.

When Loki heard Darcy gasp he glared at the medic. His left hand rubbing small circles across her back as she grasped tightly onto his right hand.

"Sorry, sorry, nearly done" Dr Connor said, voice shaking as he worked a fast as his fearful hands would allow.

When Darcy felt a plaster being applied and the doctor moving her arm into a flexed position to help stop any blood flow she sagged with relief. All done.

"That's it, your all done, free to go." Dr Connor said as he whipped off his gloves and disposed of the old equipment at speed. Then he left.

"Thanks" Darcy called out sheepishly, still holding on to Loki's hand. His own still protectively crossed over her back.

"God im looking forwards to looking outside a window again. Is it still snowing?" Darcy said, looking up to Loki with an expression of admiration on her face.

"It certainly is" Loki replied, his own face softening every second he was by Darcy's side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so writing this made me order pizza. After i started writing the description i couldn't help myself!
> 
> This was a lot of fun to write!
> 
> Thank you for all the kind words about the last chapter, all the comments really make me smile and are such a push to write better for you all.
> 
> Thank you all for reading!


	7. 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy makes up with Jane and Loki's rage gets the better of him.

After a couple of days back in the normality of living in Stark tower Darcy decided it was time to go and talk to Jane.

The decision had not been an easy one to make, Darcy was proud to a fault, she knew it and so did Jane. The place was at least big enough that with the help of Jarvis and Loki she didn't run into her until she was ready.

Spending more time with Loki had been a surprising source of helpful advice that Darcy would never have expected.

They spent a lot of time in the Library playing battleships. And over their games Darcy had asked Loki for his opinion. 

Loki had been taken aback when Darcy asked for his advice. Knowing that Jane was important to her Loki did his best to be a neutral sounding board for Darcy.  
Letting her come to her own decisions by talking it all out. 

Loki did not consider himself able to give a fair point on this subject as the more time he spent with Darcy the more he wanted to keep her just for himself. 

When she laughed at his jokes he felt validated. As she became more open with him about her feelings of grief and everything else Loki was confused at how such a young woman could share so many emotions with him. And he felt very strongly indeed about how wonderful she was when she was riled up, passionate and on the war path for any reason what so ever. It was utterly delectable to him to see her that way.

After Loki had won his third game in a row Darcy announced that she was off to see Jane.  
“Its time, I need to clear the air and ya know, its nearly christmas, season of good will blah blah blah, it'll be nice to be ok with her before it and all” she still looked a little hesitant. 

“Do you need some moral support?” Loki kept his tone kindly, making sure she knew we was not mocking her decision.

Darcy rolled her bottom lip between her thumb and forefinger as she thought about it. Loki had to look away, whenever Darcy did this he found himself too focused on her mouth. 

“Would you like, hang around the area? Like I dont need you there next to me but having you I the room will for sure remind me of all the things we have talked about and why its a good idea” Loki smiled at her reasoning.

They left the library and walked up the short stairs into the main living area. Thor and Jane were in the kitchen talking over some coffee. As Darcy and Loki approached they both turned to face them. Jane left her seat and walked up to Darcy, an eager smile on her face. Loki walked over to his brother, both men feeling a little awkward as the women spoke.

Staying far enough away from the women but still in view Loki and Thor made odd small talk.

“So the christmas thing is soon” Loki mentioned, his eyes constantly peering side ways, keeping tabs on Darcy. She was doing well.

“Yes, it should be a fun celebration. Have you got Darcy a gift?” Thor's question caught Loki off guard.

“A gift? Im on house arrest Thor, how am I meant get her a gift? I didnt know gifts were expected. I have nothing to pay with” Loki was suddenly raging. 

He turned his back on Darcy, he didnt want her to see him like this.

“Brother, im sorry I wasnt thinking, I can go and get her something if you wish?” Thor tried to relieve his brother but it only made him worse.

Clenching his hands tight Loki closed his eyes and focused his energy within himself. For the very first time he was glad he did not have his powers, had they been accessible he would have shattered every window in a 50ft radius and upturned every piece of furniture in the same space.

Thor walked around his brother, he had never seen Loki trying to control his rage so intensely before. An idea popped in his head, but he didn't know how likely it was that he could come through with it.

“Loki, I need to go and talk to Tony about something, it might help I don't know. Just know that I see your efforts here. I am proud of you brother.” he clapped Loki firmly on the back and went off towards the elevator.  
Loki took a deep breath in and out again. Slowly he unclenched his fists. As he opened his eyes he saw the Darcy was standing in front of him with a worried expression on her face.

“Hey, are you ok?” she took a step closer to him, concern pulling her eye brows together while her eyes remained impossibly large and kind.  
Loki felt more of his anger abate just being closer to her.

“I have just been made aware that gifts are part of your celebrations in a couple of days. I am somewhat infuriated that I cant get you...” he trailed off as he realized what he was about to say.

Darcy was no slow poke.  
Loki was pissed, it was clear. She just didn't expect it to be because of her. She smiled kindly at him.

She had never mentioned gifts as she knew there was no way for him to get any to give. She was smug that she had bought him a green scarf and book without him knowing, hoping to have surprised him with them on christmas eve.  
Christmas was two days away and she was pretty sure there was nothing Loki could do to make Stark repeal his house arrest.

“Hey, dont worry about it dude. You have taken care of me really well these last couple of weeks. I consider that a gift. Plus the main part of christmas is the food, mostly crappy gifts are given, like socks and ugly sweaters.” Loki had crossed his arms over his chest, he could appreciate what Darcy was saying to placate him, but it still irked him he hadn't known and that he couldn't treat Darcy to something nice. She deserved nice things.

Once again she pulled him out of his revere. Darcy placed her hand on his forearm. She gave him a little squeeze of comfort and smiled  
“Seriously, dont think about it. Now that ive made up with Jane im bound to get my share of jumpers and you can even open some of mine if you want”.

For a second the rage that had abated returned, he did not want charity offers, he wanted to pay his own way. He shrugged her hand off his arm and stormed off.

Darcy knew he was being a pissy fool.  
But she did not suffer fools lightly.  
“Asshole” she called out behind him loudly. He didn't stop walking. 

 

Darcy had just made up with Jane, they were cool now and she was all the happier for it. Jane had asked about how Darcy's time with Loki had been and Darcy had loved telling Jane how much he had helped her, how he had been kind and compassionate.  
Darcy was fucked if she was about to let him ruin the new light Jane was seeing him in. 

Time for some Darcy shaped magic.

As she found Tony In one of the engineering labs Darcy nearly bumped into a grumpy looking Thor on his way out.

“Yo Stark, you got a second?” she called out as she eyed up one of the many robots lined up on the wall.

“Oh god not you too. Let me guess, you also want to take Loki out for a shopping trip as he's been so good recently? And after I sent Dr Connor to look after you!” Tony was still adjusting the machine in front of him, he didn't even look at Darcy as he spoke.

Picking up a wrench Darcy threw it at the stripped down engine to her right, the noise sounding much more damaging than the action was but finally making Tony look up at her with an indignant expression.

“No, actually I want to take him out for the whole day” she smiled sweetly as she picked up another wrench from the tool kit closest to her.

Tony held up a hand and submitted,  
“Lets talk shall we?”.

Darcy gave a toothy grin and dropped the wrench back in the tool box with a loud thunck.

 

The second Loki shrugged off Darcy's affection he felt bad. 

He had been trying so damn hard not to be like that with her.

He couldn't quite put the reason he felt so enraged into words. If he hadn't have just ruined his standing with Darcy he would have asked her opinion.

He knew that this upcoming celebration was big one on this planet, the way everyone had been acting and the things he had seen on the TV made that much clear.

If he had known that gifts were a part of it maybe he could have worked something out ahead of time. Taking Thor up on his offer was now seeming important but unlikely, there were only two days left. Jane monopolized most of Thor's time and he would undoubtedly be busy with her until they were due to return to Asgard after the Earth New Year celebrations.

As this train of thought occurred to Loki he realised he only had a few more precious days with Darcy. Soon he would be back on his own planet to be punished by his father for which ever of his misdeeds Odin seemed to feel like remembering.

Shit. He had really messed this up now.

Even though he had heard Darcy call other people Midgardian insults and then be perfectly happy with them the next hour, he knew he didn't deserve her forgiveness.

For being an asshole just now, and for what his actions did to destroy her family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still trying to figure out my end game for this story and the hot weather really isn't helping with my inspiration!
> 
> I'll do my best to make it as good as i can!


	8. 8.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki depairs and Darcy works her magic.

For what seemed like hours Loki paced around his room brooding, his mood darker than at any point since he had been Thor's tag along for this month on Earth.

Why had he allowed himself to be such an insufferable child?  
_The words manifested in his mind as if Odin had spoken them in his ear._

Darcy had done nothing but engage him with respect and honesty. She had even let him talk at length, never once interrupting, dismissing or brushing him off. Not only that, but she truly listened to him.

So many times in his past he could recall being told to know his place when speaking around Thor in the palace, or Odin bluntly commanding that he hold his tongue any time Loki may have interjected. Being able to speak freely was a freedom Loki hadn't realized he had been denied.

The realisations Loki was making only put him in a worse mood.  
He felt like the one true thing he was capable of doing properly was ruining good things.

Had he not let his power hungry heart go after the Tesseract he would not have been imprisoned when Frigga was killed. Darcy's own mother would still be alive if he hadn't let his ego take the reigns in assuming he could control and use the Chitaurian army to do his bidding.  
Frigga had been the only person in the universe that Loki had considered being worth making an effort for, aside himself.

Until about three weeks ago.

Even powerless Loki knew that had Darcy truly not wanted that medic to attend her those days ago, he would have happily ended him with ease. When he remembered how small and vulnerable she had looked in that moment, Loki felt even more anger at himself.

Loki's fists were achingly tight at his sides. Flexing his fingers for a moment then clenching them till his knuckles were white Loki screwed his eyes up and held his breath.  
His rage was engulfing him. It was tangible in the air around him. Chest tight and head pounding Loki felt beyond anger, beyond disappointment, beyond desperation. 

It was the strongest mix of emotions he had ever experienced, and they hurt him the most because the only person to blame was himself. 

Dropping to his knees as he exhaled a long ragged breath, Loki had no idea what to do, tears of exasperation escaping his eyes as his mind raced. 

How could he fix this?  
_Did he want to fix this?_  
Yes! He truly did.  
But could he? 

Feeling so unbearably under equipped for the first time in his life Loki gazed out the large window without focus.  
The doubt in his mind was crippling Loki's confidence, how could he possibly be good enough for Darcy's forgiveness?

Why did Odin have to be right?  
Loki could hear Odin's smug chuckle in his mind.

Dropping his head down in defeat Loki frowned as his shoulders sagged, the intense tightness of his rage ebbing away. Instead, the all encompassing weight of being unworthy wrapped itself around Loki's being, as if he were being covered in tar. It merged across his entire being, covering every inch, leaving no gaps for a breath, for hope. The darkness blinding him. 

It seemed never ending, until he heard the one voice that could breach his despair.

“Loki?” Darcy's soft voice broke through his melancholy. He twisted to see her leaning in his door way, the large fluffy hood of her coat over her head and another dark coat in her arms. She smiled softly as he turned to face her.

 

 

2 ½ hours earlier...

 

 

“I'll say the same thing to you as I did Thor. No way. But are you honestly asking me to let him out for an _entire day_?” Tony looked genuinely astonished at Darcy's request.

“Hear me out for a second. I will be with him the whole time” Tony rolled his eyes at Darcy but she kept speaking,  
“It will be like a tourists 101 stop of New York City. The Empire state building, the tree at the Rockefella center, the Natural History museum, the park, some pizza and then back here before dark. He has been a perfect prisoner hasn't he? Consider this his Christmas gift! This time of year is for good will and why not show him a little?” the conviction in Darcy's speech was surprising to her own ears.

Tony looked less than convinced.

“The last time he was loose in the City he knocked down half of it and I know you don't need me to tell you how far his carnage ended up reaching. He cannot be trusted, why would I even consider entertaining the idea?” he was wringing his oily hands out on a cloth as he spoke, the look in his eyes serious but not unkind.

“Do it for me, you trust me right?” Tony raised his eyebrows at this, Darcy momentarily forgetting she had broken his trust just as she had breached Jarvis' control panel.

“Ive had a rough time and he has actually been really great to talk to, he's hurting too and the distraction would be nice. Not to mention all three of us have the lack of any parents in common” Scoffing at her last comment Tony turned back to his tinkering.

“And if you let me take Loki outside for one afternoon i'll tell you how I was able to over ride Jarvis' alarm protocol the other night.” Darcy waggled her eye brows as Stark looked up at her sharply. 

From her position Darcy could see the many computers behind Tony still trying to establish how she had been able to get passed the many levels of security in place.

Tony scowled, not appreciating her almost blackmail.

Eyes scanning the rest of the screens behind Tony, Darcy was surprised to see there were most of the stages of her break in that Jarvis still hadn't accurately identified.

“Oh god, you still haven't worked out how I even got into the control panel? Hahaha!” Darcy doubled over laughing, the look on Tony's face imprinted in her mind. 

“Fine” Tony finally relented.  
“Two hours, with security, on a preplanned route and trackers on both of you” Tony walked towards Darcy. 

She could not believe this had actually worked. Taking a second on revel in her success Darcy thought fast about how to negotiate.

“Eight hours, discreet security, like I don't want to be able to spot them, pre arranged locations but not a route, If I see a hot dog vendor I want to be able to go to him without being buzzed like im on a electronic punishment leash. Track my phone, that thing is always on me”. Crossing her hands over her chest in a power pose Darcy knew she was pushing her luck, but why the hell not, she always like to see how far she could push things.

“Five hours, pre listed locations in a restricted area, two constant but discreet chaperones and one video drone on you at all times. And you walk me through how you did everything, then you stay here to work after the holiday.” Tony was staring her down but Darcy already felt like she had won.

Holding her hand out to Tony he grasped hers firmly as they shook.

“Deal” they said in unison.

Darcy managed to get Tony to agree to several locations as she knew they wouldn't have the time to do them all and Tony did agree that the run of Manhattan island made sense to be the restricted area as the snow made it hard to go much further in the time frame he had granted.

“What day? I'll need a few hours to get the surveillance sorted” Tony asked after Jarvis had created a visible display of the plan.

“Why not today? It's midday so why not 3pm till 8pm. He really needs this, and to be honest so do I. There is a strange closure I get the more time I spend with him. I know you wont understand but he isn't what he was.” The way Darcy spoke to Tony hit home for him, she was still so new to the grief that had hardened him long ago.

Pursing his lips and squinting Tony eyed Darcy over,  
“Okay. For such a young person you are scarily good at getting what you want. You remind me of me. It is horrifying. Don't. Lose. Him.” he poked his finger in her direction as he spoke, she held up her hands in surrender.

“There's a compliment in there somewhere... And I wont lose him. Thank you.” Darcy backed out of the lab and as soon as she thought she was out of earshot she let out a massive 'Wooooo' raising her hands over her head and grinning like an idiot.

Tony couldn't help the smirk that arrived on his face as he overheard her celebrating. She was a good kid and her trust in the Asgardian, as misplaced as Tony considered it to be, was an uncommon and refreshing thing to see.  
She didn't need to know about the extra Iron suit she would have following her, as well as several Shield operatives being stationed at every location they had agreed on. Tony was not an idiot. He might be able to trust Darcy but he still held little in the way of trust when it came to Loki.

 

After changing into clothes more suited to a little outdoor adventure Darcy located the guest wardrobe and confirmed with Jarvis about which size Loki needed.  
Coat In hand she made her way towards Loki's room, one corridor away from hers.

She hoped he knew that she understood his little temper flare up was nothing. Shrugging off her hand had pissed her off for a second sure, but after their chats she knew him, a bit at least, and his temper was something he was trying to work on. 

She got it. 

After her mothers death Darcy had thrown a brick through a neighbours window after he had suggested that Darcy make sure none of her mothers flowers overgrow in to his garden. The garden was the only thing untouched by the blast. Dan's garden at the back of hers was a green square of nothingness. And after finding a nice red brick his kitchen window also became nothing.

Approaching Loki's room she heard the huffing of deep breathing, concerned she peeked around the door to find Loki kneeling on the floor, his back to her, but visibly defeated.

She called out his name softly.

Loki stood up quickly, running one hand through his hair as he brushed his shirt down with the other.

“Darcy...” he began, truly not knowing what to say for once in his life. She threw the coat in her hands in his direction and he caught it deftly.

“What's this for?” Loki asked, confused about everything, mind still gloomy.

“Come on, im breaking you out for a bit” the smile gracing Darcy's face lifted the broken pieces of Loki's spirit.

Scanning the frazzled form of Loki over Darcy felt like she had arrived in the knick of time. His normally well put together person was only slight out of sorts but Darcy had spent enough time with him at this point to know that he was not ok.

“Out?” Loki asked, eyebrow raising at the thought.

“Yes, out. Not grab some shoes and put that coat on, we don't have all day!” Darcy spoke with enthusiasm not allowing Loki a second to contest. He slipped on the coat and the shoes hiding under the edge of his bed. 

The long black coat sat square on Loki's shoulders and fitted his lithe form perfectly and Darcy made a mental note to thank Jarvis for his service.

“Where are we going?” Loki asked joining Darcy in the doorway, smiling cautiously.

Darcy smiled up at him, throwing a green knitted scarf around his neck and pulling him out the door, towards the elevator.

“For an adventure my dude, a Christmas adventure”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I enjoyed writing emo loki way more than i expected for this one!
> 
> As ever, thank you kind people for your comments, the validation is embarrassing but strong with each one i get!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading.
> 
> Next chapter will be fairly fluffy!

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this years ago, and now i want to develop it more.  
> I dont know where i want it to go yet but any ideas are welcome!  
> I love Tom Hiddleston and Kat Dennings and wish they had some screen time together as their Marvel characters.  
> Let me know if you like it!  
> Thanks


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